Last updated: June 4, 2026
Sarah was 47 when she joined Match in January 2025.
She’d been divorced three years. Her kids were grown. She wanted someone to talk to at the end of the day.
The Profile
She matched with David on her third day. His profile showed a man in his fifties with salt-and-pepper hair. He smiled in photos taken on boats and at restaurants.
He messaged first. Complimented her smile. Asked about her favorite books.
You’ve probably seen profiles like his. Professional photos. Interesting life. Available and attentive.
Month One
David moved their conversation to WhatsApp within two days. Said the app notifications were easier to manage.
They texted every morning. Every lunch break. Every evening before bed.
He asked about her day. Remembered details about her daughter’s college applications. Sent photos of sunsets from his “business trips.”
This is how romance scammers build trust. Daily contact creates routine. Routine creates connection.
Months Two Through Four
By March, David was saying “I love you.”
Sarah had asked to video chat three times. His camera was broken. Then his phone was acting up. Then the connection where he was traveling was too slow.
He promised they’d meet when he got back from Singapore. Then Thailand. Then Dubai.
Your gut knows when someone avoids basic verification. But six months of daily conversation makes you ignore what you know.
Month Five
In June, David told Sarah about a business deal in Thailand. A shipping container of medical equipment. Good investment opportunity.
He didn’t ask for money then. Just told her the story.
Two weeks later, the deal collapsed. The Thai buyer backed out. David needed money to cover storage fees and shipping.
The First Payment
Sarah sent $5,000 via wire transfer.
You’re thinking she should have known better. But she’d been talking to this man for five months. He’d never asked for anything before. He sounded embarrassed.
That’s exactly how romance scammers work. They build months of goodwill first. Then they manufacture one emergency.
The Escalation
Three days after Sarah sent the money, David called again. The storage company needed another $3,000. He’d pay her back when the container cleared customs.
Sarah sent $3,000 more.
Then $2,000 for customs fees.
Then $4,000 for an “unexpected tax inspection.”
By August, Sarah had sent $18,000. She told David she couldn’t afford more.
The Reality
That’s when David’s story started changing.
He said he was stuck in Bangkok. Then Malaysia. Then back in Thailand. The details stopped matching up.
Sarah did what she should have done in January. She reverse-image searched his photos. Found them on a modeling portfolio from 2019.
She never heard from David again.
The Numbers You Need to Know
In the first nine months of 2025, romance scams generated $1.16 billion in losses. People aged 40-49 lost approximately $90 million—the highest amount of any age group. Most victims lose between $1,000 and $5,000, though many send far more.
I’m telling you this because the pattern is predictable. If you know what to look for, you can spot it.
How to Recognize the Pattern
Scammers use stolen photos. Often models or professional headshots. The person looks suspiciously perfect.
They move off the dating app fast. WhatsApp, text, email. Anywhere that’s harder to monitor or report.
They express love within weeks. Real people take time to build feelings. Scammers rush emotional investment.
They avoid video chat and in-person meetings. Broken cameras. Bad connections. Endless business trips. Always an excuse.
The money request comes after the emotional connection is established. Usually two to six months in. Always an emergency. Always urgent.
What Real People Do Differently
Real people want to meet you in person within two to four weeks.
Real people will video chat without drama. No excuses about broken equipment.
Real people have flaws and inconsistencies. Their stories have rough edges. Their schedules get messy.
Real people solve their own financial emergencies. They don’t ask someone they met online for thousands of dollars.
You can tell the difference if you look for it.
Verify Before You Trust
Do a reverse image search on their photos. Google Images or TinEye will show you if those pictures appear elsewhere.
Ask for a video chat in the first week. If they can’t do it, they’re not who they say they are.
Search their name and city in Google. Real people leave digital footprints. Profiles on LinkedIn. Local news mentions. Something.
Suggest meeting in person. Watch how they respond. Real people want to meet. Scammers will deflect.
If they ask for money, stop. Block them. Report them to the platform and to the FTC.
Why This Matters to You
Wanting connection isn’t weakness. Dating is hard. Loneliness is real.
Scammers are betting you won’t verify their story. They’re counting on your desire to trust someone who seems to care about you.
But I’ve seen what happens when people check the details early. They avoid losing thousands of dollars and months of emotional investment.
Sarah wishes she’d reverse-image searched David’s photos in January. Or insisted on a video call in February. Or questioned why he never came home.
You have the tools to verify who you’re talking to. Use them before you’re six months in and $18,000 down.
Sources
1. Central Oregon Daily — $1.16B lost to Romance Scams (2026): centraloregondaily.com 2. Click2Houston — $3B Lost to Romance Scams (Feb 11, 2026): click2houston.com 3. Fortune — Romance Scams $3B (Feb 14, 2026): fortune.com 4. FTC — “Love Stinks” When Scammer Involved (2024): ftc.gov/business-guidance 5. FTC Consumer Sentinel Network — Overall fraud data 6. BBB — Romance Scam Alerts (ongoing) 7. AARP — Romance Scam Resources: aarp.org 8. FTC Hotline: 1-877-FTC-HELP 9. FBI IC3: IC3.gov
🛡️ Think You've Been Scammed?
- 📋 FTC: ReportFraud.ftc.gov | 1-877-382-4357
- 🌐 FBI IC3: ic3.gov (internet crimes)
- 👴 National Elder Fraud Hotline: 1-833-FRAUD-11 (1-833-372-8311)
About Nolan Bridger
Nolan Bridger is a former blue collar worker from a small mountain town on the West Coast of the United States.
